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Adoption Stories: https://www.bravelove.org/tags/being_a_birth_mom
Karen’s Adoption Story:
I was born in 1969, four years before abortion was legal. I have thought quite a bit about that and wonder, what if I was conceived after 1973, would I still have been born? I was born to a teenage mom and a young father. They chose to put me up for adoption at birth. I have very little information about them and question if what I do have is correct.
Although my adoption story is not perfect or even pretty at times, it has led me to faith in Christ. I am and always will be grateful for my biological parents releasing me for adoption and for my adoptive parents choosing to adopt me. My parents, Paul and Julia went through the County of Los Angeles and applied for adoption of a baby. This was after Julia had to have an abortion due to medical reasons. They both wanted a baby and were not able to have one naturally. I was born in March, and was taken care of probably at an orphanage until May. My adoptive parents brought me home in May, close to Mother’s Day. At that time my adoption cost was $500 and they made $50 payments each month.
My mom, Julia, was born with Cystic Fibrosis. The doctor signed off saying that she would live a normal life, however, she was sick and in the hospital quite a bit. When I was 4 years old she passed away from Cystic Fibrosis. That left me and dad. My dad really did not know how to raise a daughter. He raised me as if I was a boy most of the time, but he did the best he could. He also was a functioning alcoholic. When I was 9 we moved from Southern California to Oregon. I was often alone because my dad worked a lot. I got up by myself, got ready for school and caught the bus on my own. When I came home after school, I was by myself until dinner time or later when my dad would get home from work and then he would drink. At 10 years old, I met my future stepmom, Clara! I was a tom boy in great need of a mom. She moved in with us after a while and it was pretty good. But she moved in and out several times over the next 5 years. This was a trying time for me as a young girl because there wasn’t much stability and my dad continued to drink. One day, when Clara was not living with us, she asked if I wanted to come to church with her and she would pick me up. I jumped at the idea. I wanted to spend time with her so badly that I would go anywhere with her. At that church I learned about the love of God and how He sent His son to die on the cross for my sins. I was 12 when I accepted Christ as my Savior and was baptized. Later I read Psalm 139 and verses 13-16 especially stood out to me. They changed how I thought about my conception.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
I realized I was not a mistake! God knew all about me from the beginning of time. I was supposed to be born to a teenage mom and adopted into a non-perfect family.
When I was in high school, my parents got married and this made me so very happy. I finally had a mom again. Their relationship was not perfect. During my teenage years my relationship with both parents was strained. After one argument between my parents, my mom told me that as soon as I left for college, she would leave my dad. This altered the stability in the family. I prayed about this fervently. I prayed my dad would quit drinking and that my parents would stay together.
In college and after I started studying the Bible more, I was mentored by a good friend which led to my faith becoming stronger. I learned that I had been adopted not once but twice! In Ephesians 1:4-6 it says that I was adopted by God.
4 even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5 he predestined us[a] for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.
Even though my adoption life on earth was not perfect, God’s adoption was! I had been adopted into the perfect family, God’s.
The doctor was able to get my dad’s attention about his health and what drinking was doing to him. He finally was able to stop drinking which was a huge answer to prayer. He was becoming a different man. My parents also stayed together. After college I decided to deal with the hurts that I had from life so I would not carry them into a marriage relationship. I went through years of counseling which was difficult but necessary. This helped me heal and I was able to move on to have healthy relationships. After I got married, my husband led my dad to Christ and had a close relationship with him until my dad passed away. They had many talks about the Bible and Christ’s love for him. My mom is now 91 and has a relationship with Christ.
I’m not sure how other people’s adoption story goes, but I am happy for mine. I can see Christ throughout my life and even before my life began. I have always felt loved by my earthly family and by God. I am so glad I have been adopted twice!
Karen’s adoption story continued (5/2/22):
Shortly after writing my adoption story, my friend bought me a 23andMe kit in hopes of me finding out my heritage. I really wanted to know what I was made up of. Once I got the results, I found out that I am 70% German and 25% British. As I was exploring my results online I clicked on my family tree, not expecting to see much. However, it showed a possible niece and we shared 25% DNA. I clicked on the button to connect with her. I was a little excited but wasn’t quite sure what this would lead to. She emailed me back and asked if she could get back to me in a couple of weeks since she was travelling. After two and a half weeks, she emailed me again and said that she was not my niece but my half-sister! And we share a mom! I was stunned. Her mom had never told her that she had given up a baby for adoption in 1969 until recently when she asked about how I could be related to her. Fortunately, she was happy to have a sister and more family. She proceeded to give me our mom’s email address and told me that our mom would like to connect with me. I was incredibly happy. I had been dreaming of this almost my whole life. I sat down to type an email but had no idea what to write to someone who gave birth to me 53 years ago. Well, I figured out something to write… and she emailed me back! I yelled and was so excited when I received that email. For 2 weeks we emailed back and forth and exchanged photos. Finally, I look like someone, it is a great feeling. My mom told me how hard it was to give me up, that she held me, named me, and loved me. She told me a little about my dad. After emailing for a couple weeks, we were able to talk on the phone. What an experience to talk to her! We are now planning on meeting sometime soon. I am beyond excited for this. This has caused so many different feelings in me. I feel more complete, more confident. God has given me a great gift. He brought us together in His timing.
This experience has been life changing.
Tina’s Abortion Story:
My dad dropped out of high school and joined the army and then he enlisted to go fight in the Vietnam War. That is where he met my mom. After personally witnessing her country, her school, her workplace, and people literally being blown up – my dad brought my mom and their baby (my oldest sister) to America for a better life. I was the third born daughter. By the time I was thirteen they had been struggling in their marriage and looking for love in the wrong places. Sadly they divorced. I too began to look for love in the wrong places and started a relationship with a boy. Then at the age of fourteen, I found myself in an unplanned pregnancy. We told only one person that we thought we could trust. In her mind, the way to help was abortion. After she dropped me off at the front door and left, I went inside by myself. I was shy and apathetic. Nobody talked to me about any other options. My parents didn’t need to be present or sign anything. I didn’t ask any questions.
Nobody told me the truth: Me and my baby were loved and valued. I had a person growing inside of me that was real – not just my body but another little body separate from mine yet dependent on me for now to grow for about nine months. I was already a mom and that the safest place for my child was suppose to be my womb. Even though scary, my pregnancy was a gift from God. No, I didn’t hear or know any of those important and truthful words.
But what happened is I was sedated and taken back to a room with a table. There was a man and a women that were suppose to be “healthcare” providers – care about my health and babies health. I heard the vacuum sound. I wondered where “it” was going. I let them remove my child from my womb. Then, they were done and sent me out to the waiting room. Nobody protected me or my baby from abortion. I wish someone would have least tried. There was no followed-up appointment. I live with these memories and deep regret. I never got to see or hold my child. Today I have a longing inside to know him and I can only wonder how amazing he is.
Life went on after that. It was the summer before my freshman year of high school. I developed an eating disorder. Everyday through high school I binged and purged. I think it was some sort of way to control my life after the trauma. It was an addiction or disease I battled. I was quite insecure and a hypochondriac. As a teen, I continued in unhealthy choices not understanding my self-worth and God’s design and purpose for my life.
Fast forward, at the age of 22, I got married to a caring, fun, and hard working man. We were blessed with three wonderful daughters, and a nice home. On the outside it looked like I had much to be thankful for but on the inside I still felt like I was dying. I began struggling with debilitating depression and severe anxiety. I had what looked like the “fulfilling” American dream, yet I had no peace.
Then, for the first time I started writing in a journal literally crying out to God for help in my failing marriage, my lost parenting, and feeling like I was in a big black pit. The LORD sent a couple new friends into my life that were good listeners and kind. They spoke about grace and a relationship with God. I wondered if I had that. It was during that time when I was 36, at a Christmas service I heard about how Jesus died to forgive the sin of the world and how we all like sheep have gone astray. And by His wounds we are healed. I heard an invitation to accept Jesus as my LORD and Savior and trust Him for eternal life. I prayed and God saved me and breathed life into me.
As I started walking in this new and personal relationship with the living God, my life was changing and I had a sense of peace. But, one of the hard things was I started to hear more about abortion. It was difficult as I listened to other people tell their stories but it touched my heart in a way I needed. I was blessed to have a church family and leadership that upheld the sanctity of human life and loved my unborn baby before I ever knew how to. The Holy Spirit started allowing me to weep and grieve over the loss of my child. I began to release pain that had been trapped inside me for over twenty years.
I then learned about a post-abortion healing program. This was one of the hardest things to make myself do but one of the most freeing experiences too. I realized I wasn’t alone and other women were hurting in silence like I was. And, the LORD showed me the hope of getting to see and know my child one day in heaven. 1 Corinthians 2:9 says, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him.”
So now today what keeps me alive and going is the grace of Jesus Christ, the love and kindness of my family and friends; and the call and privilege now to stand up and be well enough to tell the truth about how every LIFE is precious and equally valuable – from conception to all ages. The Good LORD wants us to stand up for those that are being led to the slaughter and to stand up for those that can’t stand up for themselves – the voiceless. Preborn human lives are our most innocent and vulnerable human beings. They and their moms should be valued and protected and loved. To God be the glory and His eternal and redeeming hope be known.
Jenny’s story of healing:
When the Holy Spirit prompted me to reach out for abortion healing I was scared, a bit anxious, and not sure what to expect. I wondered why I needed to “go there” after so many years. In the healing group we walked together, with one another and Jesus. It was comforting to know I wasn’t being judged and I wasn’t alone. We used the truth of God’s Word and through the study, to process and untangle lies. Each week required honesty with myself as I wrestled with the questions and exercises but I walked away with a feeling of peace and lightened load. The only way to get to the other side was through the pain. Completing the class started my journey to healing from the hidden pain I’d been holding onto for 14 years. Jesus released my shame, restored my brokenness, and gave me hope and rest in Him. I also experienced permission to grieve the loss of my child. Something I never realized how much I needed. My hope is that women carrying the burden from abortion will participate in this group and experience Jesus’ redemptive healing!